tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40514982830689189092024-03-08T03:21:47.459-05:00O'hmanii Ahn...Purge, recycle, evolve and repeat...O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.comBlogger182125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-53546010365357875052023-01-27T19:45:00.002-05:002023-01-27T19:45:27.787-05:00America’s Weekly Fetishized Snuff Film<p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">Mom!</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">How can they fear for their lives when I’m the one running for mine?</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Mom!</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I didn’t do anything wrong!</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Mom!</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Why do they hate me?</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Mom!</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Why are they hurting me?</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Moooooomy!</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">How can I give them my hands when one is pretzeling my legs, two are pulling my arms in different directions and the other is kneeling on my neck?</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">9 minutes mah </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I can’t breath</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Over a traffic stop</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">A cigarette</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">A broken tail light </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">A look</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">My babe’s in the car</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">mom….</span></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-50338382428942420612022-08-05T15:14:00.000-04:002022-08-05T15:14:17.863-04:00Insecurity<p>My hell</p><p>is wondering, </p><p>in a loud discordant unforgiving loop,</p><p> <i> Is it </i><i>my sadness that keeps you tethered? </i></p><p>What penitence or cure</p><p>can silence a mind</p><p>gifted at inferiority-driven psychic flagellation?</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-513345015632183732022-08-05T15:06:00.000-04:002022-08-05T15:06:16.947-04:00Permission to Let Go<p>I observed a trail of freckles on your skin</p><p>markings of age, time, and wisdom.</p><p>Twin'd stars displaying your preordained path to the heavens.</p><p>Resting in fetal repose</p><p>you seemed to wait for permission</p><p>to chase the stars. </p><p>It's ok, Daddy</p><p>let go</p><p>I'll be ok. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-64760211667424931142022-08-05T15:02:00.003-04:002022-08-05T15:02:50.730-04:00A Strangers Funeral<p>Today, I attended a strangers funeral</p><p>because I couldn't face yours.</p><p>There were no pictures, no videos,</p><p>nor familiar faces</p><p>to intrude or tug.</p><p>Sitting in the back pew,</p><p>alone and solemn,</p><p>I felt strangely liberated</p><p>to mourn you.</p><p>without absorbing the spectacle. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-84652987819564679202022-08-05T14:47:00.002-04:002022-08-05T14:47:46.834-04:00Taking a Moment to Acknowledge Beauty Amongst the Grey<p>Imagine clouds in the sky</p><p>no, not big white puffy clouds floating</p><p>pompously on a static blue mat.</p><p>Imagine these more like</p><p>wispy clouds, whimsical, and peaceful</p><p>milk, gently stirred in a blue porcelain cup of rich black tea</p><p>Think soft hues of pink, purple, and orange</p><p>touched by the wind</p><p>with a gently waving tail tinged with blues and greens</p><p>and early stars peaking through </p><p>way up there in the blue.</p><p>Yeah... </p><p>that was the sky today. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-8065312530801177672022-08-05T14:39:00.001-04:002022-08-05T14:39:12.422-04:00We Are the Gatekeepers of Our Creativity<p>You planted the seed</p><p>that grew into the Oak</p><p>that became the hanging tree.</p><p>you stole the land and the fruits of our labors</p><p>our minds, bodies and souls</p><p>claimed our heritage as your own and remade our gods in your image.</p><p>And now, hundreds of years later</p><p>while our bone deep scars remain raw</p><p>you have the audacity to cry out against "gatekeeping"</p><p><br /></p><p>We reclaim what was stolen</p><p>Our modern rhythms</p><p>in tune with the thrumming sound of the blood and moans of our ancestors</p><p>are not for you. </p><p>Our battle cries, hakas, and revolutionary hymns</p><p>are not for you.</p><p>We hereby turn off the spigot.</p><p>that tortured teat</p><p>from which you commoditized our existence.</p><p>Pimp out your own</p><p>we quit. </p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-86262335163157700662022-08-05T14:33:00.001-04:002022-08-05T14:33:26.343-04:00Clay<p>If only the word itself, "clay"</p><p>could be used to form</p><p>the intent of one's written thoughts.</p><p>to be so easily molded and shaped</p><p>to glory in the slippery, mailable feel of function and form</p><p>between practiced fingers</p><p>while imagining we are gods. </p><p>Unlike stoic and unforgiving pen and ink</p><p>where we are bound</p><p>anchored, and moored</p><p>by means, dimension, and tongue.</p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-80386843373276831102022-08-05T14:30:00.002-04:002022-08-05T14:30:18.738-04:00A Slippery Thought<p> While I'm reading</p><p>I'm often distracted by a curiosity.</p><p>Examining myself while in the act</p><p>I try to determine whether I</p><p>simply read the words,</p><p>picture the words,</p><p>or do I see the scene conjured by them?</p><p> <i>how do i know it's not any, some, or none of these?</i><br /></p><p>Shhhh! I can't hear myself think! </p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-34298905835754987002022-08-05T14:27:00.002-04:002022-08-05T14:27:39.488-04:00Beautiful Spectrums<p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Well shit... on the spectrum.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I should have known<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">maybe I did.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">All the years of feeling other</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">imposter syndrome<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">acting a part, </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">stepping in it, </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">and failing miserably;</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">always being misunderstood.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">misunderstandings, </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">mistranslations, and </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">miss iterations,</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">but at the end of the day<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">now I know. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">It all makes sense</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">the overwhelming confused mass of guilt
and <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">unnamed shame makes sense now.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am relived</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">truth be told<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">and impressed, that I've accomplished so much,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">while not knowing. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Which is the blessing?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">the knowing or not knowing?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But then I think to myself<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I love learning<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know what it is to love and be loved<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am accomplished and growing<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am as the universe made me<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">imperfectly perfect<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">perfectly made for me<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">and I am enough. <o:p></o:p></span></p><br /><p></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-42919515237568425892022-03-08T21:48:00.003-05:002022-03-08T21:48:49.572-05:00The Unforgiving Din of Living<div style="text-align: left;">Exhaustion...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />When even laying down<br />a constant onslaught of sounds<br />force your consciousness, against its will, to rise<br />to the level of interpreting what is being heard.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Amidst the bar music, traffic, horns, drunk revelry<br />fights and the bridge and tunnel squeals<br />of the uninvited,<br />one prays for a specific type of silence<br />a sacred respite<br />sharp<br />without even the high pitched tone of white noise's <br />silent screeching,<br />a true silence<br />inky infinite and black black<br />empty and devoid<br />such that even one's inner dialogue is <br />muted<br />by the cacophony of soundless<br />noiseless<br />stillness<br />on the edge of oblivion and consciousness. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Give me silence<br />silver<br />golden<br />sightless...</div><div style="text-align: left;">blessed silence. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-82426291570677902422021-11-29T12:37:00.002-05:002021-12-07T20:34:07.959-05:00Roxanne's Beads<p>Between 10th and 13th Streets</p><p>from Third Avenue through Alphabet City</p><p>each corner was staked</p><p>claimed with the blood, urine and broken jewelry of the female barkers</p><p>fleshy menageries of the drugged and enslaved.</p><p>Some with the bud of youthful beauty</p><p>new to the trade</p><p>others hardened and misshapen</p><p>using layers of dollar store makeup and bangles to hide the bruises</p><p>all smoking cigarettes</p><p>glossy eyed expressions displaying</p><p>boredom, fear, anticipation, hope and hopelessness</p><p>in equal measure</p><p>while admonished by my mother</p><p>to give them wide berth</p><p>I would go out of my way to say hello to them all</p><p>so they knew they were seen.</p><p>Each morning the path to school</p><p>was marked with cracked corners and a cornucopia of beads</p><p>evidence of the evening's violence</p><p>plastic, crystal, brass, glass and clay</p><p>I would ceremoniously collect them</p><p>a street urchin's treasure</p><p>wondering if I'd ever see the wearer again</p><p>most often not</p><p>hardened lost souls</p><p>we never heard cries for help</p><p>buried beneath the din of drunken revelers</p><p>Hell's Angels and sirens.</p><p>My bead box</p><p>now in the back of my closet</p><p>a forgotten homage</p><p> to the disposable</p><p>keeps safely</p><p>the ghosts of these now gentrified streets</p><p>where escorts now carry cell phones and can afford to live in </p><p>"market rate" apartments. <br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-3045876159665645612021-11-19T09:22:00.001-05:002021-11-19T09:22:11.951-05:00Stone's Inaudible Hymn<p> (DRAFT)</p><p><br /></p><p>Born of fire and baptized by water</p><p>we have all been impacted, driven, shaped and remade by time.</p><p>The elements, our parents</p><p>coupled with gravity and star dust</p><p>from whose essence we were born</p><p>along with an infinitesimal ounce of intent</p><p>give rise to the depth of our story</p><p>stoic sentinels</p><p>witnesses to the rhythm and rhyme of time's discourse</p><p>Wind sings through our bones</p><p>giving us voice to sing</p><p>for those with ears to listen.</p><p>Regardless of our shape, size or man's </p><p>wanton desecrations and intent</p><p>we remain eternal.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-74252721467948285942021-07-29T13:54:00.001-04:002021-07-30T11:53:13.229-04:00I Dreamt You Were Coming Home, Then I Forgot Where I Lived<p> </p><p>I dreamt you were coming home</p><p>Then I forgot where I lived. </p><p>Caught in a firmament of </p><p>crumbling bricks</p><p>and molded bread,</p><p>I sought my path</p><p>as I would a tail,</p><p>chasing myself in circles,</p><p>frustrated at a formerly known destination</p><p>that won't stand still</p><p>hoping instead</p><p>that someone will find me</p><p>in this labyrinth of skin and dirty laundry. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-1801440478092544822021-07-01T16:09:00.002-04:002021-07-01T16:09:26.826-04:00Short Matches Burn BrightestBrightly they burned<div>because they doubted the future</div><div>they danced and sang</div><div>spent and wept</div><div>for the dreams they ignored</div><div>in favor of the assured myth of <i>"now".</i></div><div><br /></div>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-75144652237289408772021-07-01T16:07:00.000-04:002021-07-01T16:07:11.994-04:00A Clusterfuck of Egos<p>Clawing and scratching for dominance and attention</p><p>when neither are applicable or warranted</p><p>unevolved beasts pound their chests</p><p>insisting on THEIR way, THEIR wants, THEIR desires</p><p>above all else.</p><p>In a world ripe with such characters</p><p>is it a wonder why we are failing</p><p>so spectacularly? </p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-77830568035415656752021-04-09T12:43:00.002-04:002021-04-13T16:47:37.650-04:00All Rainy Days Don't Smell the Same<p>I love rainy days.</p><p>The smell of brine infused green</p><p>delivered by a health breeze</p><p>on a lovely spring day</p><p>washing away the smell of yesterday's</p><p>transient decadence and shame. </p><p><br /></p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-20643276218522775332021-04-09T12:41:00.000-04:002021-04-09T12:41:13.494-04:00Early Spring on the "N" Line<p>Riding the above ground train home</p><p>nearly empty</p><p>reading my book</p><p>the sun flashes off buildings old and new.</p><p>I enjoy the warmth on my face</p><p>my eyes closed,</p><p>while reaching for my mace, </p><p>because</p><p>you know</p><p>It's New York and you never know. </p>O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-15662724281013269422019-10-07T20:53:00.001-04:002019-10-10T16:04:34.843-04:00Brooklyn Days<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">I remember</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">Tasting life in cumin, curry, casareep & chili powder</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">at Brooklyn's annual West Indian Labor Day Parade</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">air rich with ecstatic movement and an unfettered sense of community</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">Red, Orange, Green, Blue, Regal purple flags worn and waved for miles</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">beads and wings swaying in unison to multilayered rhythms</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">the annual bacchanalian festival of food, music, flesh and rum</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">mustn't forget the rum</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">before the city robbed us of that libation</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">reminding us instead that the blood of Christ was still available on </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">Sundays</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">or at the corner liquor store across the street from our schools</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Saturday trips to Prospect Park , Rock & Bottle Cap soccer over cracked grassless trails</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Bob Marley, Yellow Man, the Art of Noise and Classical music</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Firecracker holidays on the roof, tar beach in the summer time</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">starry firelight skies above</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Corto Negro Champaign, smoked gouda and "mota" filled rooms below.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Children playing into the night, running through broken hydrants</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">splashing each other and unsuspecting drivers</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">water steaming on the hot sticky asphalt </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">flickering street lights and mothers calling their children home</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">while pulling laundry from rusted fire escapes and weathered cloths lines.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">George Benson, "giving us the night" and Chaka Kahn's cool moan and wails</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">dancing off the walls with ice intoned glasses, laughter and the tidal hum of the entertained. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">And I remember... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">White powder and smoke accompanying occasional predatory invitations to "sit on Uncle's Lap"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">My fists and feet delivering my response.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">And they still remember</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "calibri_msfontservice" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; font-variant-ligatures: none;">the bruises. </span></span><br />
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O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-73113142838820913852019-10-06T18:56:00.000-04:002019-10-07T15:12:18.149-04:001970's Lower East Side<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The fields of our youth, often remembered as discolored and stained polaroid images<br />
in our minds, we ask ourselves<br />
Is that how it really was?<br />
Do you remember that as I do?<br />
Where did all the pawn shops, that inspired questions and adventurous imaginings about our neighbors' histories go?<br />
<br />
The drugs, the graffiti, the gangs, prostitutes, Hip Hop, Pop, Grunge and rock and roll, the strange fruit that was our broken sense of community...<br />
Cuchifritos, knishes, pigeon peas, corned beef and cabbage<br />
Piragua and hotdogs urine and blood<br />
Garbage and exhaust fumes<br />
our perfume<br />
abandoned cars, discarded furniture<br />
abandoned lots and broken sidewalks<br />
our playground;<br />
the heroin laden avenues, crowded with bent walking dead, one had to bypass to get to school, the vacant lots we played in, until colleges and megastores took over<br />
these were times to be both feared and revered, as the richness of circumstances and mixed cultures that created it, we will not likely see again.<br />
<br />
Were we really that fearless?<br />
Those that don't know, who weren't there, doubt our memories, our stories<br />
disbelieve the foundations that built our strength and resolve<br />
Those that were...<br />
our comrades in arms<br />
battle warn and scared,<br />
we nod to in passing, on these same now gentrified streets, fellow warriors, fellow survivors<br />
with silent celebration and much respect<br />
acknowledging and respecting those "who made it"<br />
thrived and survived.<br />
<br />
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O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-65510337378701704552019-10-06T18:29:00.001-04:002019-10-07T15:16:38.104-04:00Writing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Caught staring into space<br />
my eyes glaze over as my mind seeks to<br />
capture the moment, a line, a rhyme, the time<br />
to describe the verbal visions<br />
bottlenecked in my third eye.<br />
<br />
Caught in the before and after<br />
I feel the completed piece before it's written;<br />
appreciate the birthing pains of discovery and rising awareness;<br />
the foreknowledge of the satisfaction of completion,<br />
fulfillment at capturing the mental child nurtured and born from mental wombs.<br />
<br />
Another verse and chapter for the work, the mirror<br />
that is my life.<br />
<br />
Notions form from the white static and noise<br />
messages from my ancestors and future selves.<br />
<br />
Today's message<br />
perseverance and strength<br />
patience, faith and peace.<br />
<br />
The words will come and their voices will be heard.<br />
<br />
Wait.. what?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-9903939588681160972019-02-22T12:11:00.000-05:002019-02-22T12:11:23.821-05:00Seeking Our Own Definitions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
(In draft)<br />
<br />
<br />
uhhhhggg.. .meeehhhhghhhhng...<br />
<br />
square peg round hole<br />
taught to force itself into a space too small<br />
It hurts<br />
the walls of our psyches are bleeding<br />
<br />
Queens trying to conform to a twin, a king, or a double<br />
uhhhhggg.. .meeehhhhghhhhng... ugh<br />
the struggle is real folks<br />
To big, too small, too tight, too long<br />
God Damn Goldilocks<br />
<br />
Who are we?<br />
What are we?<br />
Who the hell do you think you are?<br />
What gives you the right?<br />
<br />
We don't like or appreciate your prefabricated construct<br />
demanding we FIT IN<br />
when we were born to stretch OUT<br />
Expand, Evolve<br />
Outside your constraints, outside your assumptions<br />
definitions and limitations.<br />
<br />
We live on a board we no longer wish to play<br />
fighting an opponent who set the stage long ago;<br />
while stretching and pulling at the yoke<br />
bucking their limitations<br />
in search of our own.<br />
<br />
Shudder....<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-31026365313609506582019-01-26T21:18:00.000-05:002019-01-26T21:18:52.741-05:00A Stolen Moment...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Happy Friday!</span></i></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Happy Friday!</span></i></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Happy Friday!</span></i></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Sigh... head back</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">glass of red</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">in this moment</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">in this now.;</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">allowing for the existence</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">of nothing else;</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">embracing the first jubilant silent squeal</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">... <i>ahhhhhh</i>!</span></span></div>
<br /></div>
O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-55934301875891413572019-01-26T20:59:00.004-05:002019-01-26T20:59:58.377-05:00Forgotten Spells<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="p1">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="font-size: small;">Words once eluded me, so I collected them in a well, and held them captive in a pen - drawing from its depths only when intuition so directed.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s2"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">Now, Words, like so many spells, I cherish in a fashion likened to Death’s grip for fear of unfathomable prophecies & unintended consequences.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s2"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">The <i>Word </i>and <i>Will thus </i>unwed</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">I seek to put myself nightly abed anight, and pray my dreams too, cause no harm.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="s2"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">But…</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">Stuck in my head</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">ripe words</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">pungent words</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">invented words</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">spell casting words,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">bottle necking mono & multi-syllabic words,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">phrases, meanings, truths and lies I've told myself;</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">all call for action and inaction</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">noisily compete for dominance</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">in the hope of hitting upon some</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"lottery winning" </i>combination that leaves room<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">for nothing more than blinding illumination;</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">but my imaginary pen cannot keep up</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">and the combination eludes me,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: small;">as does succor.</span></span></div>
<br /></div>
O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-40800572654102821042019-01-26T19:33:00.000-05:002019-01-26T19:33:27.256-05:00When Gods Speak<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">We are the quarrel of Sparrows</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Autumn's dark rain</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Beetle under the floor board</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Ghost calling your name</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Shadow on the wall</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Reflection in the pool</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the step in the Dark</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Unanswered call.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">We are the Presence under the door</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Harbinger in the gloom</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Dead under the moor</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Face on the moon.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">We are the Dust under your feet</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Speck in your eye,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Crack in the sidewalk</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the truth in every Lie.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">We are the Chill up your spine</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the Hot Breath on your neck</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">the slipped errant thought</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">and the Song you can't forget</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">We are Portents,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">you our Supplicants</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Pay Attention</span></span></div>
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<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">or we will speak louder.</span></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051498283068918909.post-15391602357740025272019-01-26T18:21:00.000-05:002019-01-26T18:21:28.795-05:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
held with a glance<br />
won with a song<br />
lost in a breath<br />
<br /></div>
O'hManii Ahn Tap'anhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12775078598668879194noreply@blogger.com0