Worth the Knowing

Haunted by living specters
and the death knell of dreams deferred... indefinitely;
buoyed by the possible;
Grounded...
Prometheus' fires are humbled to ghostly embers...

Hope is held aloft by what?
desires propelled by
self deluding...self fulfilling false prophesies
Are we ill prepared would-be "masters" of destiny?
Is it fallacious to believe we are entitled to that which we
covet, deserve, desire?

How does one tell the difference between the learned and the innate?

Is it all...worth it?
In the end...
can one say.... the suffering was worth the knowing?

Courtship (2013 re-write)

Caught on an urban hook

A lovely day

An unexpected day

A breezy, bright, colorful, warm day

infused with newness and hope.

Mnemonic melodies shock and awe the senses

climbing High,

dipping soulful and low,

ebbing and flowing with playful kinetic whimsy

like Pan in a Garden high on honey-suckled ‘shrooms

or crackling grease on a worn ancient skillet.

Attuned to your vibe, your rhythm, your scent

My body and mind leaden loadstones

turn with question in mind... 

slowly gauging, tasting the air;

pulled by your sweet mojo -

North's new abode?

A Lovely Day

An unexpected day
A breezy, bright, colorful, warm day
infused with newness, and hope.
Melodies frolic in my mind
climbing high, 
dipping soulful and low,
ebbing and flowing with playful kinetic whimsy
like Pan in the Garden
or crackling grease in an ancient skillet...
 My ears become attuned to your vibe, your rhythm, your scent
my body and mind.. leaden loadstones
turn...
slowly gauging 
pulled by your sweet mojo...
North's new abode?

Contemplative: 1

Alone tired still calm but not serene

People are sick, people are dying, loved ones long neglected have died; 

dreams pursued, others relinquished...

And life goes on.

People are living, lives are lead, challenges overcome,others avoided;

and I am left wondering… wandering through slippery musings,

simply wanting an answer to the why of it all…

When will my life start… or is this it?

What am I waiting for… what thing, person or epiphany?

Waiting for inspiration...

A reason to go on...

for the hidden principles and ideals in the spaces between aught, should, would, could, need, deserve….Karma.

Thinking perhaps falsely, that knowing the Why, I could be contented …

Alone tired still calm and seeking acceptance.

Will the blossoms lose their bloom before their essence is savored?

Will they be allowed to whither… merely yet dutifully, homogeneously replenishing the earth… or will nature allow them to be kissed…
their descendants carried across the garden?

White Noise (2013 re-write)

What is “white noise”...

Why is it white...

A blindingly “pitch” bright silence;

static so deafening as to be visible…nearly, just beyond the veil of the comprehension?

What is the subliminal Hummmmmmmmmmm beneath it all;

beyond the din and urban uproar

beneath the mechanics of technology and flesh

past the self inflicted noise of the disposable and temporary?

Our sub-consciousness, for however briefly touches

the Source

the vibration

the sound of the spin and burn of it All…

Proof of a Great Device…

Knowledge grasped for a second…doubted for eternity.

What is “white noise”

Why is it white?

A pitch, blindingly bright silence;

static so deafening as to be visible…nearly, just beyond the veil of the senses?

The subliminal Hummmmmmmmmmm beneath it all;

beyond the din and urban uproar

beneath the mechanics of technology and flesh…

past the self inflicted noise of the disposable and temporary.

touching, for however briefly

the Source

the vibration

the sound of the spin and burn of it All…

Proof of the Great Device…

Knowledge grasped for a second…doubted for eternity.

Being Understood: 101

We all think we want people to understand who we are… what makes us tick.  But fallacy lays hidden, like bruised fruit, in the very expectation - for with it, we presume to subliminally announce we know who we are ourselves.  So what exactly is it about “our selves” are we hoping will be understood?  Are we hoping others will do the work for us and say:

 “Ah ha!  I understand you! You are [fill in sexy role found only in legend or film], you’re meant to [fill in some meaningful trade here, worthy of life's sufferings to date] and be [fill in adventurous and heroic prophecy here]– go forth in the world and be fruitful and merry!’??

and then, so discovered, we say:

“Eureka! .. yes, the search is over, we have found our identity and purpose at last!”…(insert angel's choir and fan fair soundtrack here).

(Notes falling flat...)

What exactly is it we’re supposed to do then? 

The search is what molds us, develops and enlightens us.  Keep looking…keep searching… keep understanding.  We can learn from the mirrors we offer one another… but ultimately… we are our own guides and consciences… and the most challenging mirror you face… will always be your own. 

Study thyself to know thyself

all else will follow... as needs be. 

 

Pain

Is your pain hot or cold?

Does it fester like a wound or simmer, fueled with hate?

Do you pray for the world’s oblivion or your own?

Born of love or neglect, regret or sorrow;

will it still be here tomorrow, comfortable and welcome

with its parasitic familiarity?

I write like my mother
think like my father
and am my grandmother's story...

Am (hopefully just temporarily) locked out if my blog.... Hope to resume posting soon :( Wish me luck! (sent as text from my phone)